weiyingdown | popdrop: ic inbox

weiyingdown

Sanren 散人
20s / M

白日依山尽，黄河入海流。欲穷千里目，更上一层楼。☀

Let's be friends ♥

Art Source [Catch-all post for ic inbox, any potential overflow from posts, and nsfw]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

one_note

"I'll do it on my own. You don't have to touch me."

"Both of us probably drank too much tonight. My apologies. You don't have to feel too apologetic either. It's normal for men to be like this sometimes. Please don't take it too seriously."

[...and much softer, like it's physically hard for him to say it, even to a degree past how hard it is for him to speak at length]

You also thanked me and apologized.

From:

weiyingdown

[he trusts Lan Wangji's memory more than his own, so he doesn't doubt that the words are exact. he considers the situation, why he would say those exact words, and feels his stomach churn]

I took advantage.

From:

one_note

That is not likely.

From:

weiyingdown

If we were both upset, and you were drunk...

[exhales]

And from what I said, that's what it sounds like to me.

From:

one_note

[the sky is so nice tonight, and much safer to look at than Wei Wuxian's face]

You could not take advantage of me.

From:

weiyingdown

"Both of us probably drank too much" and were both upset. My tolerance is better than yours, so I should have been more mindful. If you really think that's not what happened then I'll believe you. But I don't know what else to think.

From:

one_note

When I am drunk.

Are you able to make me do what I do not wish to do?

From:

weiyingdown

[he has exactly one experience with Lan Wangji from within Popdrop and it was not a huge sample size; he shrugs, honest]

I don't know. You're stubborn when you're drunk, I won't deny that. But I haven't tried to push you when you're drunk either.

From:

one_note

I believe I would have been willing.

I do not know if you were.

From:

weiyingdown

. . . ?

[he misheard. he must be really tired.]

Can you repeat that?

From:

one_note

I would have been willing.

From:

weiyingdown

But you were upset.

From:

one_note

You did not seem to be.

From:

weiyingdown

I don't know what I was thinking at the time.

[he can certainly offer an educated guess, but that might lead to more misunderstandings]

From:

one_note

[bows his head]

Mm.

From:

weiyingdown

No! Wait! Back up to the part where you said you wanted to sleep with me!

From:

one_note

This is not new.

[please Wei Ying we have fucked very enthusiastically in your relatively immediate memory]

From:

weiyingdown

It's not new here.

[in a tone that says here and home are Different, Obviously]

From:

one_note

It has not been new for a long time.

From:

weiyingdown

[he's turned fully to face him without realizing it, leaning forward, hands bunched in his robes]

How long is a long time?

From:

one_note

...

From:

weiyingdown

[there's an empty space where his name should be, the Lan Zhan that passes soundlessly from his lips]

Hanguang-Jun. Er-gege. I don't understand what you're saying.

From:

one_note

[this is dangerous. this is dangerous. he should not have opened this route of conversation.]

Recall Phoenix Mountain.

[repeating this particular transgression to both of them causes no more damage, he supposes, than it already has. he cannot make himself say, I have loved you, or something like it, since you climbed a wall in front of we when we were fifteen; I have known I have loved you since we fought a Divine Beast when we were seventeen; I have never stopped.]

From:

weiyingdown

[this is tragic and unfortunate because the only thing he can recall about Phoenix Mountain is that Lan Wangji seemed irritable then]

Which part about it? I don't know what this has to do with my question.

[he does attempt to think back, but he's also busy trying to work out Lan Wangji's words]

Has it...been since then?